If you are a rape or sexual abuse survivor, here's my prescription for feeling better, at least for awhile

Talk to someone you trust. Whether it is a best friend or a therapist you talk to, be sure to share what you are thinking. It can help a lot.

Learn to accept what you cannot change. No amount of time is going to take away what happened. Try not to focus completely on hating the rape or abuse, but rather on things you can change.

Journal. Write down every awful or scary or delusional thought in your head. Put it down on paper and get it out of your system.

Avoid self medication. While drugs and alcohol can sometimes seem to numb the pain, all they really do is postpone it.

Get enough sleep. When you are well-rested, your mind will work better and you will have the strength to do what you need to do.

Do something for others. That is why I started this webpage in the first place. Empowering others is self-empowering as well. Volunteer, visit a nursing home, help a friend with his or her own problems.

Work off stress. Focus some of your extra energy on a job, homework, housework, etc.

Manage your time better. I'm a procrastinator and always have been. I used to put things off to the last minute. However, bad times and breakdowns can't be scheduled, and for me, they always seem to appear the night before a huge paper is due. Learn to get things done ahead of time and you will save yourself from a ton of stress.

If you are sick, don't pretend you're not. Let yourself get better instead of pretending you're okay.

Develop a hobby. Start doing something you've always wanted to but have never gotten around to doing. Start painting, drawing, dancing, gardening, horseback riding, playing a sport....and allow yourself the time to do what you enjoy!

Eat well. Try not to fall into the trap of eating too much or not eating anything at all. You will, I promise, feel better when your body is getting the nutrition it needs.

Exercise. Run, walk, bike. When you're frustrated, this can help a lot.

Don't be afraid to say no. If you're anything like me, you take on everything...don't hesitate to turn down something that you cannot do, either emotionally or practically. It's not always selfish to take care of your needs first.

Know when you are tired or hungry or stressed. Work on recognizing your body's signals, and LISTEN to them.

Be realistic about perfection. You don't have to please everybody; work on pleasing yourself.

Take time out to enjoy yourself. Work it into your day, whether you want to watch tv, listen to music, or read.

Meditate. Breathe deeply and simply relax. Some find yoga to be very beneficial.

Sing. Turn on your favorite music and sing along at the top of your lungs.

Read a book. By this I mean read something non-triggering. My current suggestion is "Neverwhere" by Neil Gaiman. The man is a genius. No wonder Tori loves him :)

Pet your dog or cat. Don't have one? a favorite stuffed animal will do. or borrow a friends.

Take a walk. Try a nice relaxing stroll, breathing deeply and looking at all the beauty around you.

Take a warm bath. Fill the tub with water and bubbles, listen to classical music, and unwind.

Splash cold water on your face. Doing this can sometimes wake you up to reality.

Clean the house or your room. Move around, organize, vacuum, do laundry.

Don't put off relaxing. Relaxing shouldn't be a reward, but a necessity.

Speak positively to yourself. Remind yourself of just how wonderful you are, and keep the negative self-talk out.

Nintendo. Or Sega or even Atari. Be careful not to overdo it (or else you'll be be playing tetris in your head alllll night...i know this from experience :), but it can definitely take your mind off things.

Consider giving up caffeine. As much as I try, I can't do it. I love my Diet Coke too much; but if you can, I hear it does wonders.

Remember what is important. This can be hard when there are little earthquakes all around, but remember that the little things are just that - little.

Find support. There are others going through some of the same stuff around every corner. Join a support group or an internet chat. Empathy is an invaluable trait.

Eat a hot fudge sundae. Enough said.

Light a candle or incense. Try an aromatherapy candle if you'd like.
 

For this imagery exercise, select either hand and allow it to rest comfortably on your lap or on the arm of your chair. Bring your fingers to touch the tip of your thumb one at a time while imagining the following scenes:

    1. Touch the tip of your index finger to the tip of your thumb. As you do, recall a time when you had been exercising vigorously. Maybe you were playing a sport or participating in an aerobic workout, and you felt healthy fatigue. You had spent all your pent-up energy without overexerting yourself. It felt good to just sit or lie there.

    2. Touch the tip of your middle finger to the tip of your thumb. As you do, recall a time when you received a loving, caring touch from someone *whom you trust* and feel comfortable with. It might have been a warm embrace, a gentle kiss, or a hand on your shoulder. It felt good to receive this caring touch from someone whom you trust.

    3. Touch the tip of your ring finger to the tip of your thumb. As you do, recall a time when you received a sincere compliment. Maybe it was an extra effort on your part or a time when a special quality of yours made a noteworthy difference. It felt good to hear these words of praise or acknowledgment.

    4. Finally, touch the tip of your little finger to the tip of your thumb. As you do, let your mind carry you to a beautiful scenic outdoor location. It may be one you have actually visited in real life, or maybe it is the creation of your own mind.  It's a gorgeous panorama allowing you to survey the majesty or nature reminding you that you are part of nature itself.

    5. Repeat as many times as needed, either the entire exercise or one particular visualization.

This exercise can be modified to fit what you need. Eventually, you will associate the feeling of your finger touching your thumb with the feeling described above. The simplicity of this exercise is helpful, and you can do it at work or in any public place without drawing attention to yourself.